B Rants / 6 January 2016

B Rant: Gun Control Etched in Futura

by Brantly Martin

The Candidate—“The First Real Independent for President”—was, depending who you asked, either the savior American politics needed, or (according to both the Democrat and Republican establishment) a mutinous wild card capable of sinking the USS OMERTA once and for all. Read more...

B Rants / 12 December 2015

B RANT: The Micro-Aggression Sweet 16!

by Brantly Martin

Get ready! Soon(ish) I’ll be reporting live from the Micro-Aggression Sweet 16. The winner receives an adult-sized tricycle and a life-long Safe Space in virtual reality. Read more...

B Rants / 28 September 2015

B Rant: The Poll Network - Free TP!

by Brantly Martin

There was a time in the distant past—about four years ago—when “the polls” still felt like a numerical barnstorming teenage-runaway sideshow with all the staying power of that first rail of yip and all the accountability of plans discussed after that tenth rail of yip. Read more...

B Rants / 3 September 2015

B Rant: Guest Rant by Izzy #2

by Brantly Martin

I caught up with Izzy—my friend, neighbor, and lover of all things RANT—to get his thoughts on Orchestra Holistic’s upcoming show at Brooklyn Bowl, violence in America, and the NFL. Read more...

B Rants / 1 September 2015

B Rant: Señor Trump

by Brantly Martin

He's missing a pinkie ring in the key of a late 70s Texas Oilman melting through a wormhole that finds him driving his Coupe de Ville east on I-10 to a mid-90s Cash Money concert. Read more...

B Rants / 26 August 2015

B Rant: Thoughts On The New Issue, Part 1

by Brantly Martin

One of the enjoyable parts of laying out a magazine is the license it gives one to time travel via the wormholes that exist inside a single author’s output that one (moi) is in his small way adding to. Read more...

B Rants / 1 June 2015

B Rant: Rockets vs. Warriors, Day No Mas

On Basketball and personalized medicine leading to personalized living. Read more...

B Rants / 21 May 2015

B Rant: Rockets vs. Warriors, Day 2

by Brantly Martin

Rockets vs. Warriors, the 3-ball, and All or Nothing America Read more...

B Rants / 19 May 2015

B Rant: Rockets vs. Warriors Day 1

by Brantly Martin

A last minute rant before Rockets vs. Warriors, Game 1 Read more...

B Rants / 18 May 2015

B Rant: Clutch City 2

by Brantly Martin

A quick dip into Houston Rockets past and present. Read more...

B Rants / 8 May 2015

B Rant: Between a Rock and an Accent

by Brantly Martin

photography Valentina Ilardi Martin

Meditating on Chris Rock's “Why don’t black people like baseball anymore?” Read more...

B Rants / 21 April 2015

B Rant: Space Invaders + Donkey Kong

by Brantly Martin

Son, why was I not informed that bath salts and meth defeated shrooms and changa in the death match for our soul?! Read more...

B Rants / 24 March 2015

B Rant: "Bri-an Will-yums"

by Brantly Martin

Brian Williams—America's most digitally transmitted two-dimensional trust-me-face—admits he lied about a few things. Read more...

B Rants / 1.3

B Rant: Nepotism Part 1 of N

by Brantly Martin

illustrator Daniel Egnéus

As Nepotistic Drift spreads here in New York and becomes an open laboratory for future doings in Washington D.C. and, consequently, whom will be the next spokesmodel for America, remember: Read more...

B Rants / 20 March 2015

B Rant: Guest Rant by Izzy

by Brantly Martin

Orchestra Holistic is a newly formed collective of musicians assembled for the live instrumentation and the advancement of our musical agenda. Read more...

B Rants / 19 March 2015

B Rant: Je Suis (You Tell Me Pal)

by Brantly Martin

I do wonder where the “equal opportunity offenders” slogan came from. Was this a directive from above? Read more...

B Rants / 6 February 2015

B Rant: How To (Be) Play(ed) At The Super Bowl

by Brantly Martin

The Grand Transmission Window—with its six hour lead-in and time-flattened auto-referential lip-synching slot— Read more...

B Rants / Issue IX

B Rant: willie mays’ in essay data bass (LIVE)

by Brantly Martin

When the sirens went off and I looked skyward over Tompkins Square Park and saw the distress signal hologram I knew it was a result of my egregious breach of email etiquette Read more...

B Rants / 21 December 2014

B Rant: Happy Birthday John Kennedy Toole & Philip K. Dick

by Brantly Martin

“When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.”
-Jonathan Swift; Thoughts on Various Subjects, Moral and Diverting Read more...

B Rants / 20 October 2014

B Rant: Panic in the Cranium

by Brantly Martin

photography Scáth Umbra

I saw one of those Goebbels must be alive and now under the employ of the US Hollywood-military-hero complex movies the other day. Read more...

B Rants / 27 June 2014

B Rant: Foot Traffic

by Brantly Martin

The problem with writing about sports is the third eye Pandora’s Box Set that projects from my forehead Read more...

B Rants / 18 June 2014

B Rant: Sterling Futures

by Brantly Martin

How far out must we look to escape this modern malady of digitally deterministic déjà vu. Read more...